Finding New Direction
How many times have I started and stopped blogging? Too many to count at this point. I can hope, pray, promise, vow, bribe myself to blog on a more regular basis, but we can see. I wonder how many other bloggers out there have this same problem until they get a regular routine set-up? Are you one of them?
Two weeks ago, I lost my Mom to cancer. She was my closest confidant, my confidence, my reassurance, my go-to, my phone call in the morning, my best friend, my inspiration for living a good and happy life. She’s gone and I miss her terribly. My levels of sadness range from having a minor lump in my throat to crying so hard my face hurts.
She lived a life to be modeled. She was the wife to my Dad for 39 happy years. Never once did I see them argue or raise their voice at one another. They were best friends and soul mates. He was her “rock” and she gave him “such an amazing life”. They didn’t show their love openly, but you just “knew” the depths of their love by the way they took care and spoke of each other. She worked hard and loved what she did (she was the registrar my High School and worked there for 17 years). She was also an amazing mother – someone who could spend forever listening to you, do whatever it takes to make you succeed, and always found ways to make you feel special. She would “adopt” any and all of my friends as children of her own – always showing love and care to them and their lives.
Now, she’s left us to find our own way. I hope and pray that I have her guidance as I find new directions to take in my life. For me, I can use this as an opportunity to find what works best for me, to live the life I want to live, and establish/re-establish routines to make my life happy and productive. My mom was so strong. She was able to work and stay happy and productive during her battle with cancer that spanned over five years. Always strong, always positive. I could learn a lot from that woman….
After my Mom’s funeral services, the best compliment I received was, “You are your mother’s daughter.” I can only hope that I lead my life with the same grace, ethic, and good nature as she did.